A Publication of Lighthouse Consulting Services

Many people, regardless of their background, education and such, wonder occasionally, "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" It's an important question. We all want to feel needed and that we bring vital qualities and talents to the world. Yet, it is also hard when we don't feel we have much to offer. It's easy to think of life as a daily struggle, and the world as just a place to survive. We can get to the point where we just try to get through the day, and we forget to fully live life. John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans". So, what plans are we allowing to get in the way of life? And how do we want to change so we can enjoy life more?

All that excess baggage!
Many times, what gets in the way of enjoying life is a lack of trust in ourselves as well as a poor self-image. As we go through life, we usually pick up some baggage and that can really weigh us down. We can start to carry a great deal of anger, disappointment and false beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Some of those false beliefs can include: "I'm not good - smart - pretty/handsome - special - perfect enough"; "There's something wrong with me"; "I don't deserve good things or people"; "I'll always fail at what I do"; "I'm just lucky when I succeed"; "I need something or someone to be ok"; "I have to be right - perfect - good always"; "It's someone else's fault for my problems"; "It's hopeless"; "I can't trust anyone"; "I have to save/help others at my own expense"; "I must always come first". Of course, this is only a partial list of the ghosts that can haunt us through each day.

What gets in the way
What obstacles get in the way of making changes and growing through our issues? I recently saw a segment on 60 Minutes that looked at an old psychological study on prison life, where college students enacted a fake prison with some as prisoners and others as the guards. While this study is pretty controversial, what was interesting was that both the prisoners and guards forgot who they truly were. They almost immediately embodied the roles they were given. The guards became abusive and cruel, while the prisoners felt trapped and hopeless. In fact, the college students never realized that they could or should stop the abusive interactions during the study. They forgot they had an option to refuse to continue their roles. While there may have been some personality tendencies for the students involved to be abusive or submissive, this example shows how we can easily take on the characteristics and beliefs of the environment. We can get conditioned to give up, feel trapped and stop trying. We can even forget who we truly are and embody qualities from the situations we grow up and live in. Yet, we usually have choices, even when those choices are hard. As someone once told me, when a door slams shut, look around for an open window - another open possibility. So, what are some steps to making changes? What can we do to break out of that prison?

Lighthouse Consulting Services 
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