A Publication of Lighthouse Consulting Services
When people usually think of what is needed to have a good relationship, whether romantic or a friendship, many will list out what they want in a lover or a friend. That is always important, but what we bring to a relationship is just as important.

Understanding the other person
“When the relationship hits those tough spots, the first thing that flies out the window is empathy.” Most of us are too occupied with our own hurt, anger, disappointment and fear, to be fully aware of what someone else is struggling with.”

First and foremost, empathy is vital to a lasting relationship. We have noticed through working with couples that when the relationship hits those tough spots, the first thing that flies out the window is empathy. It is one of the most difficult things to truly understand another’s point of view, as we are usually too busy thinking what we’re upset about. Most of us are too occupied with our own hurt, anger, disappointment and fear, to be fully aware of what someone else is struggling with. This is especially true when we’re angry or hurt by the other person, like when one partner doesn’t express enough affection to the other.   		 



Some may feel that this isn’t true of them, and that they always strive to understand their partner or friends. For some people, that might be true. However, for the rest of us, this then leads to my next point that is essential to relationships - - self-honesty.


Being honest with ourselves
Now, the first thought might be, “What me!! I’m honest with myself!” Perhaps that is also true, yet we can always be more truthful to ourselves. Many people are not really honest about their part in the relationship problem. We see so many

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