A Publication of Lighthouse Consulting Services
  • Anxiety can help us to grow. George Herbert once said, "Storms make oaks take deeper root." It can be very uncomfortable and even terrifying to face our fears, but at the same time, we can develop a more stable foundation in ourselves. Usually, as we develop a pattern of facing and overcoming scary situations, we become stronger and surer in ourselves.
  • Find a balance between working on your own issues and helping others. As Lewis Carroll stated, "One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others." Finding ways to help others, by volunteering and such, can help put our own fears into perspective. Additionally, use your own experiences with fear to help others to deal with their anxiety. It is an interesting phenomenon in life that when we assist others, we in turn grow and help ourselves at the same time.
  • Develop a support network. It is much easier to face fear and difficulties with the help of others. Find someone who can gently, but firmly help you to handle the anxiety and not to enable your fears.
  • Pick your battles carefully. Don't try to resolve everything at once. If possible, work on one fear at a time and use small steps to making change. For example, when I have worked on my shyness, I have chosen where push myself and where to back off. When I attend parties, I develop guidelines what small step to work on and what is ok, like allowing myself a period of time to adjust to the situation.

 
  • There is a time and a place for everything. In a world where many people believe problems must be fixed ASAP, I have a different theory about fear and change. I believe that when pain or distress around a problem increases to a level that is higher and more intense than our fear, then we make the change. Everyone has a certain pacing and to push too hard and fast can end in failure and frustration.
  • Don't give up and let it take over. The old saying to get back on the horse, after it has bucked you off, is so true. Plus, the longer we wait to get back on that old horsy, the harder it will be.
  • Find your anchor. What is your true purpose in life? What is your top priority? Find something solid to trust in, something to lean upon. I once read, "Not until tomorrow do we sometimes see clearly enough to appreciate the gifts of today." I try not to live for tomorrow, so each day I strive to appreciate that I can get up and enjoy the sun shining, listen to the birds chirping and see the trees waving in the wind. When the waves of fear or stress start to rise, it is important to have something to anchor your ship to.
  • Watch out for addictive behavior. Many people use substances (like alcohol, drugs or food), events (like sex or shopping) and even people to numb out fear. If you find this to be true for you, seek out help.


Continued on page 3

Lighthouse Consulting Services 
3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403 (310) 453-6556